Ryan Morlok’s Blog

Well, it’s only been a week of classes since the election of the new ACM officers, and already this administration has worn feminine formal wear more often than the entire tenure of the previous top4. What’s even more impressive about this feat is that there were actually girls on top4 last term.

Sameer, always true to his word, had promised that he’d wear a dress to the first exec meeting of his term if he was elected to top4. So, last Monday he did. Some might have just grabbed an old grandma dress, but not Sameer. When he does something, he goes whole hog.

I headed to the CS department website to lookup the Academic Office contact information, and low and behold, my own face was looking back at me. Yep, I must say, my roguish good looks have once again landed me as the icon for another academic organization. I was previously featured in the marketing propaganda for Hill Murray just after I graduated High School. I don’t know what it is that keeps these schools flocking to me. My witty grin, my sparkling eyes, or my complete lack of fashion sense that screams “he’d better be smart, or else he’s screwed.”

Ironically, I think I may be the only CS student in that picture. I know Leo (the girl) is Electrical Engineering, and I’m not sure about the other guy (I forget his name), but I think he might be EE as well. I think this is Leo’s second stand on the front page. They (of course) took lots of pictures in various settings and are apparently rotating them periodically. The only picture they had previously used of me was on the awards page burried deep in the website.

Other individuals I know involved in this mosaic* of both real and fictitious CS students include the following.

• Parisa and Amanda. Paris is a legit CS student, but Amanada is actually a mechanical engineer. Amanda was only there because I was going to give her and Ben (her husband) a ride home after the photo shoot.
• Another one of Parisa. Lets face it. They’re trying to show that there are girls here. In reality, there are more X than Y chromosomes around, but I wouldn’t put the ratio much higher to 11 to 9 (you figure out what that comes to).

* hehehe, it’s a play on words ’cause it’s UIUC — you geeks who know history will get that

Well, Kendra successfully arrived in Japan a couple days ago (referring to dates is always difficult in these situations, as she is +15 hours from me, really messes me up). She is doing a study abroad for the next 4 months, which will be interesting as she’s only had introductory Japanese. Not sure why she took to the country so well. We were last there in 2000, when we vacationed for 3 weeks. It was an OK trip, but I liked Europe better. Some of that had to do with the fact that for the Japan trip it was August and very hot and humid. Her timing of this trip is better, weather-wise. We’ll see how it goes, she’s not fanatical about the food. What’s funny is a semester abroad in Japan is actually cheaper than Notre Dame tuition.

It’s been we another week of firsts as I had my first 2 interviews the last couple days. Not me being interviewed (I’ve done my fair share of that already), but me interviewing others. Kim Labs is looking to pick up another person in my area (to replace me as I scale back my time to work on my thesis).

Kinda weird being on the other side of the table. I guess my biggest difficulty is that you have reject a lot of people, which I’ve never liked doing. I always empathize with their situation. The process is definitely helping me refine my own job application/interviewing skills, however. Honestly, the most important thing to have in an interview is personal confidence, while at the same time avoiding an attitude of arrogance.

After reviewing 50 to 100 resumes, I’m also getting a much better feel for what makes you look good on paper. I’ll grant you that how I evaluate resumes has a great deal to do with what I think a resume should have (what my resume has), but the first thing I look for is work experience. If everything on the resume is purely academic or not related to your field (class projects, lab sitter jobs, etc), the game is pretty much over from the get-go. What’s really been surprising me is how many people this includes.

In my opinion, the usefulness of experience goes as follows (when applying for an industry position after graduation):

1. Internships in your field
2. Research group experience
3. Class projects
4. Everything else (I worked at XYZ as a burger-flipper)

Of course, the norm for other areas of of study is probably different in terms of experience that most people have upon graduation, but in the computer related industries, I think this is pretty standard.

Craziness around the Morlok house. Katy ordered DDR pads last weekend and has been anxiously awaiting their arrival. In the mean time we have picked up a PS2 so that she’ll be able to DDR once the pads are present. Of course, in her excitement she hasn’t been able to wait for the pads to arrive, so she’s been playing the game with just the controller. That in itself is somewhat humorous, but she’s also taken to using the papas-sane pillow in place of the real pads.

In other DDR news Keith, a friend of mine from ACM, showed me a video of himself clearing an incredible DDR song. You can see it here or directly from ACM here.

Well, EOH has finally passed. I hadn’t planned on spending a lot of time working on it, as I didn’t have a project, but I’ve spent my fair share of time at Siebel this weekend working on the organizational aspects.

One of the interesting projects this year was done by Sameer & company. Sameer came up with the idea for a Tetris game controlled by using your head. Normally one would just write this off as Sameer being random, but this time he went through with it. It helps that his research group works with sensor networks, so he had ready access to the materials.

The project can be viewed here. It’s pretty cool (note that the project description is largely sarcasm). I found a fun hat to use to hold the accelerometer that was pretty popular with the youngsters. Good times.

I know I’ve got to stop posting random stuff I see on the internet, or receive via email, but I couldn’t help with this one. It came from Tristen’s post on Damien’s Facebook wall. I’m sure it’s already been circulating around the internet.

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
3. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.
5. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
6. Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t f%ck with Chuck!” Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
7. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
8. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is “Charles”. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
9. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
10. To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
11. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from darkside-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided into two.
12. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
13. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”.
14. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
15. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
16. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.
17. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and preceded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he’s Chuck Norris.
18. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
19. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
20. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
21. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you’re thinking to yourself, “That’s impossible, I already lost my virginity.”, then you are dead wrong.
22. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.
23. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn’t give him exact change.
24. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is “his” way.
25. Hellen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris.
26. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can “accidentally” beat the shit out of little kids.
27. When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”
28. Chuck Norris doesn’t see dead people. He makes people dead.

It’s 3 p.m. on a Thursday and we all know what that means! BADM class == blog entry! I’ve been thinking, this is the last class I will ever take. *tear* I guess it’s fitting that I treat this class with the blatant attention disregard that has been the hallmark of my academic career. Honestly, though, this class really isn’t too bad. You can’t hate a class that brings in refreshments (like bagels and coffee) every week to class. We also have guest speakers on various IT security issues, so it’s interesting as well. To be honest, I do most of my writing during the two 10 minute breaks offered during the 3 hour class. Other classes should really take note as to how this one is run.

In other news, we will be receiving guests from Minnesota for the second straight weekend *cough-guilt-trip-shoe-cough* I’m not actually sure who it is. Someone named Laura who was one of Katy’s sorority sisters and a boyfriend, I believe. They won’t be staying long, they’re actually on their way elsewhere and will just be stopping over Friday night. Katy’s friend Lindsey may be making a return trip with her boyfriend Dave at the end of the month. Not sure about that just yet.

The stage is set for a great hockey game tomorrow night. I’m once again talking about Hill in section play. They will be taking on their arch enemy White Bear Friday, 9 p.m. at the Colosseum. Hill beat White Bear earlier this year 1-0. In theory Hill is the better team, but when Hill/White Bear go head to head, rankings seldom have much meaning. Should be a good time.

Last night I hosted the Jorge Cham talk (http://www.phdcomics.com/). It went really well, the room was filled past capacity. Somewhere in the range of 250 people. Found out that I was pronouncing Jorge incorrectly (pronounced whore-hey, I mean no disrespect in the phonetic spelling), but had a hard time not reverting back to “George”. Oh well. Pictures of the event are availabel here and here.

Amazingly, plugging the Comcast router into a non-UPS outlet didn’t work. They will be replacing the router sometime tomorrow. There may be minor outages throughout the day.

In other news, Hill won this evening 5-1 against Roseville, moving them one step closer to the state tourney. GO HILL!